The DeMarco Project Speaks
Honoring our Military Moms
By Kim J. Clark
Aka Expanding Love
When we think about those who serve in the armed forces, most of us think about and envision
the role of males in the military. In an effort to raise awareness about female service related
issues, in a previously published article entitled “Women Veterans – Underserved
Heroes/SHEROES” we focused on some of the issues facing women in the military. In the April
edition of the Detroit Native Sun, The DeMarco Project Speaks celebrated, “April – Month of
The Military Child”. This month we are dedicating this article to all military moms.
The women married to active duty personnel who are also mothers have an especially hard job to
do. Many experience sleepless nights worrying about their husbands. Often, they feel angst when
the phone rings. While their husbands are away, they are the head of the household and must
keep up the appearance that everything is fine. They cannot allow their fear to show in front of
the children. When their warrior comes home, more often than not, the entire family is affected
by the trauma the father has experienced. He may have night terrors, PTSD, depression, loss of
limb/s, etc. She must be strong for him and brave and calm for her children. Not only is she
married to her husband, she is married to the military. These women must mask their emotions,
put on a brave face for their family and the public as well. Highest honor and respect to these
This writer can only imagine the emotional trauma, a mother who is actively serving in a war
zone feels. She may be absent at very important milestones in her children’s lives. She does not
know if her children are being properly cared for. She is not there to dry their tears or read them
a bedtime story. Imagine what it must be like to have to dismiss all thought of your children
while fighting to stay alive in a foreign land. To these women, we acknowledge the great
personal sacrifice made to ensure all Americans continue to enjoy the freedoms we hold dear.
Let us not forget the mothers like, this writer. When we raise our children, we do everything in
our power to keep them safe. That same child makes the decision to serve in the armed forces.
There is nothing we can do to protect them. Some come home unscathed. Some are mentally
and/or physically damaged. Others, like my son DeMarco, who had PTSD, night terrors and
depression, choose suicide, the only way they feel they can find peace. To these moms, I
personally know your pain and emotional struggle. Please, know there is nothing you could have
done to save your child’s life. I tried and blamed myself, maybe if I had done this or that, when
he was a child. Maybe he would not have joined the military. The fact of the matter is, my son
made a choice. He wanted to, and did serve his country.
I have been blessed to have many veterans, both male and female, share their darkest moments
when they contemplated or attempted suicide. They helped me understand my son only wanted
the pain to stop. He only wanted peace. My heart goes out to you. I support you in healing from
this traumatic event. I support you and celebrate you and the life of the child you lost.
We at The DeMarco Project wish all the military mothers a very special Mother’s Day.
Kim is the mother of a veteran who loved his country and was willing to lay his life down for the
freedoms he believed in. She is the President of The DeMarco Project, Non-profit organization.
Her life’s mission it to save veteran lives and improve the quality of life for traumatized military
service persons. If you would like to support her in the work, donations are welcome. Visit the